Russia Voted By Other Nations As "Least Likely To Have Free Elections"

MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Everyone agrees in Russia that Vladimir Putin was a better president than chess great, Garry Kasparov, would have been. Despite an active campaign by Kasparov and a great deal of popular support, he surprisingly did not get elected.

"It's funny that people still vote here," laughs Putin, now retired. "That election was great because my former KGB buddies and I got to count the votes. What a hoot!"

Current Russian President Dmitry A. Medvedev agrees.

"I like Russian elections and the election process here," said Medvedev recently. "I mean, where else can people go out and vote, thinking their political voice actually matters? Oh yeah. America. I forgot they've adopted our system now."